HW 19

Me:"Are you afraid of death?"

Mom:

I use to be but as the years go by I become more comfortable with the fact that I too will pass away. The more you understand, the more you appreciate the gift of life and that alone can make me become afraid all over again....

Me: What about death scares you the most?"

Mom: It would be the pain that often comes with dying and will my caregivers know when enough is enough.

Me:"Do you think grandma appreciated her illness?"

Mom: In the earlier stages of her illness, I think your beloved grandma was a bit angry about what was happening to her mind but she was never angry at others around her because of her confusion. She eventualy accepted her lot, relied on and enjoyed her caregivers, continued to adore her family and slipped into being totally present or living completely in the moment which many healthy humans aspire to do.

Me:"Am I in your will"

Mom: Yes, and Mary Ann and I have provided for you in a way that will take care of you if you are still a minor...under 21....so that you can get a great start in life with a solid, meaningful education. Because the economy has taken a turn for the worse and may take a long time to rebound....later on there may not be a lot of money for you to inherit....so my advice is to be wise about how you manage your financial affairs...and if you do inherit....it will be a nice surprise.

Me:"If you could choose how you die, how would you choose to die?"

Mom: Peacefully without horrible pain and with the opportunity to have quality time with my closest family members including our pets.

Me:"Did your family discuss death with you when you were younger?"

Mom: Yes in a meaningful way and perhaps that is why I'm not "deathly afraid of dying".

Me: "Did you teach me about death and illness the way your mom taught you?"

Mom: I've been trying to share my beliefs with you so that you can understand that death is a part of life....and we are all spiritual beings having a human encounter and when this human encounter has been completed as we die, we will return to where we belong....

After looking over my mothers answer, I was really surprised by her responses. We never really talked about death before so hearing about her thoughts on it actually inspired me. When I asked my mom how she would wish to die, she mentioned the normal regurgitated answer, "in a peaceful and painless way." What caught me off guard was she added shed like her pets to be with her in her final days. I never realized how much she appreciated and adored the cats so it was nice to see another side of her.

Hearing my mom say she's no longer scared of death but that realizing how much she appreciates life could scare her again it kind of confused me, how could realizing how much you appreciate life scare you. I took a pause and thought... wait that really does make sense, if I'm having the time of my life and realize that I could die at any moment of course that would scare me. I never thought about death in that way and when I'm having a great time I tend not to really think about my life ending. I personally think that's a good quality but anyone could disagree.

I like how my mom is very open about her thoughts and not afraid to talk about such a touchy topic. Hearing that her family was very open death and illness explains why death isn't such a soft topic for my family. When my grandmother passed away we never really talked about her being gone or about how she passed away. We only talked about all the good times and tried to cover the fact she was really gone. Now I don't disagree with this method it actually makes my mother and I miss her less but the pain of not seeing her is still there.

Interviewing my mom actually brought us closer and the tension about my grandmothers death is now less, we have a better understanding of each other and our personal views. After interviewing my mom we went on to talk about religion and if we believed in heaven and hell etc. This assignment actually impacted my life more then I thought it would.

Hw 18

Thanksgiving morning my family and I were up around 9 and started eating food at 11. By the time the actual thanksgiving dinner was ready most of us were full. My two elderly aunts came to dinner and as they were eating I noticed that my aunts arthritis in her hand really effected the way she held her fork. She barley had a grip on it and her food kept falling off, it made me sad inside but I just got her a bigger fork and for the moment it helped. Later that night she said her hearing aid was acting up and she wanted to go home. I tried putting myself in her shoes and I just couldn't picture it. After dropping my aunt home I tried driving with the music really low, so I could try and feel what she was feeling and I got really annoyed really quickly because I knew music was playing but I couldn't make out exactly what was being said.

After paying attention to my aunt's disabilities I was very grateful for my good health and my parents health. Other then feeling sad, I felt overly stuffed and after vacuuming in all of my food I sat on the couch with my moms and watched football. The dishes stayed on the table until 1 in the morning and everyone had at least 2 helpings of pumpkin and apple pie. Laziness definitely kicked in and no one wanted to do anything. During dinner i brought up how I was getting tired from all the food and one of my moms brought up an interesting fact, she said that there's a chemical in turkey that actually makes people tired. Now I haven't checked if this was exactly true but it made some kind of sense.

If thanksgiving wasn't made to be a holiday were a lot of eating is done, I doubt people would use thanksgiving as an excuse to eat so much. My mother made so much food I have left overs for at least a week and a half, and everyone knows that thanksgiving food is probably not the healthiest food out there. So to hear people complain about how fat and unhealthy they feel after thanksgiving is extremely annoying. Thanksgiving is suppose to be about giving thanks to your loved ones and enjoying all the good in your life, not to complain about how fat you feel because of how much YOU decided to eat.

Growing up death was never an issues for me, It didn't scare me and It didn't really affect me. During sophomore year my grandmother ended up in the hospital, shortly after she passed away. I feel that hospitals just make everything 10 times sadder and 100 times harder (for coping reasons). They have an odd smell, and odd sounds (personally the beeping noise on the life monitor freaks me out). Growing up I always thought that once someone went to the hospital they weren't going to come back. Of course I was wrong but no one ever explained to me what hospitals were.

It blows my mind how a simple cold can turn into bronchitis or how making love with someone who has AIDS and be transferred. If we know about all these problems why hasn't someone found a cure? Technology is so advanced that it should be easy by know. In my family illness is not really talked about, for instance another one of my grandmothers has cancer and diabetes, I can count on one hand how many times we have talked about it. I see how that could be a good thing, that we don't worry about it and just try to savior the good times but its something that could potentially and probably will kill her, and I'd personally would like to know what exactly it is that is inside of her.

Its interesting to see how most people are afraid to take about death and illness and try to hide from it, when in reality it effects everyone and you can't run from it. I feel that if people were more open to discuss certain topics we wouldn't be scared once it came into our life. Illness is a great way to appreciate the little things in life and to not take people for granted, it just sucks that that is the way some people have to learn.

Disability is a illness I see almost everyday, and taking pit on them is something I don't do. Instead I try to treat them like any other person and look at them for who they are inside not there physical appearance. One of my friends mother is blind and she is one of the most intelligent people I know. Disabilities is just another aspect in life that i feel makes someone stronger, physically and mentally, and we can all learn from them.