HW 49

Michelle

My comment to Michelle: It was so interesting reading your initials thoughts. I also found it interesting that at your age some one close hasn't died, know a days I hear about death left and right because of all these diseases such as cancer, aids, etc. I liked how you really got into detail about how your culture handles the dead and if our culture took on some rituals from your culture the death process might be more about the dead loved one instead of what there coffin looks like and how much money is spent on the tombstone. I noticed your grammar and spelling has improved tremendously, keep up the great work!

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Michelle's comment to me:

Stephanie

To start with you had great questions, questions that would receive good answers with little elaboration. But i've learned after couple of interview that it helps to tell them some background info first on what we are studying this unit for them to be able to answer well. But overall it was good, how you learned how your mothers have two complete different point of views on belief of the dead but still agree on that there should be a certain respect for the dead. I liked how the last line wrapped up your blog, " Asking my parents these clarifying questions definitely helped me understand there thoughts and beliefs on how they would handle the care of the dead" because for me this HW did the same thing for me. Only thing could have done was to proof read, besides that well done!

Evan

My comment to Evan: I was shocked that everyone you interviewed was unsure of how they wanted to be buried, yes it's a sad thing and yes we are young but it eventually has to be talked about. Although I don't know exactly what I want once I die I do know that I want my funereal to be like a party and I don't want people to be sad and cry. I enjoyed that you asked everyone if the funeral was religiously orientated, and reading about how Jewish families handle death was interesting. Over all your post was good, just reread your work for grammar and spelling mistakes. Keep up the good work!

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Evan's comment to me:

I liked the order you asked your questions in, it made you interview stronger. You stated that" Although she isn't very religious she respects the social norms of society and handles the care with respect." I found this very true in my interviews as well. People had either religion beliefs to follow or there own beliefs but they still respected and followed what they thought were the social norms for the care of the dead. I feel you could have found another connection but I enjoyed reading your post.

Hw 50

Precis: After death caretakers in funeral homes play one of the biggest roles, we have to make the transition from life to death as smooth as possible for the dead's loved ones. We do this by adding outrageous ornaments to the coffins and artificial chemicals to try and take away the smell of the dead. Although us caretakers put a lot of time and effort into the process of fixing up the dead for wake's and funeral's, it is still a hard task to make the lifeless room feel emotion.

Quotes:

"In my head, it sounds like a fairy-tale: the dead come from a magic place called the Silver Doors, from which they are whisked into boxes or made to drink potions that turn them from yellow to green, then they're painted pink and purple and powdered, and some are baked in an oven where they are turned into flour by special death-fairies" (Jokinen 19).

"But dead themseleves became a nuisance" (Jokinen 23)

"He has amazing drainage!" (Jokinen 55)

Analysis:

After reading the first third of CURTAINS by Tom Jokinen it was very easy to see that the process of caring for the dead is mainly a business. From cremation, to the coffins everything has a price, and in our society that's what makes everything work in a cycle. The factories in which embalming is done is very similar to slaughter houses (worker wise) Workers get in a routine and simply lose emotion while doing the same thing over multiple times a day. As a society we give into these rituals by thinking the only way for our loved ones to "rest in peace" is by having them suffocated in an oak coffin that would probably making a living person feel constricted and suffocated. Curtains has pulled me in but certain parts such as reading about co workers actions during their lunch break doesn't seem very important to me, I am very eager to keep reading and finding out other secrets and routines that care takers follow when handling the dead. It would also be interesting if Tom stands up to the system and changes the routines of handling the dead that he doesn't agree with.

Hw 48 (comment this break hw)

1. What do you see as the "social norm" when handling the dead?

2. Do your personal beliefs compare or contrast with the social norms?

3. Does your religion play a part in your thoughts about handling the dead?

4. What do you think happens after death?

Mother

1. Having a wake, memorial/funeral service is still very much practiced

2. I'm in agreement that our loved ones who pass on deserve to be remembered!

3. Yes, I would want to be respectful of the religious customs of the departed and their family

4. I prefer to believe that we are all one thing and that this thing is called by many names and that this one thing is in all of us living things and this one thing is eternal.

Mother

1. Usually, a wake and funeral are held in honor of the dead. Sometimes there is a memorial service if one is not waked.

2. I agree with the social norms of how society handles death.

3. Yes religion plays a huge role in my thoughts about how death is handled. One should always be aware of others beliefs on what is the "right" way of dealing with death is. Different religions believe different things and you should always be respectful of their beliefs even if you don't necessarily agree.

4. After death I believe that the soul leaves the human body and departs on another journey that will last them forever in Heaven.

When my first mother answered the questions it was interesting that she never mentioned a specific religion yet she believed we were all connected in a special way. Although she isn't very religious she respects the social norms of society and handles the care with respect. When contrasting both of my parents it was interesting how my second mom thought religion played a big role in her thoughts about handling the dead.

This topic is not talked about much and it was interesting to see how my parents felt towards the questions I asked them. When I asked my family about how religion played a role in there child hood they didn't make it seem like it played a huge role, so I was surprised when both of my parents said that they follow social norms and believe in the traditional ways when handling the dead. The quote "After death I believe that the soul leaves the human body and departs on another journey that will last them forever in Heaven" really impacted me because I believe in that theory as well but I don't have evidence behind why. I tried getting my mom to elaborate on her thoughts but we just went in circles. I find it hard to believe in something that can't be proved but since Heaven and Hell has always been something I was taught its hard to think of anything but that. Asking my parents these clarifying questions definitely helped me understand there thoughts and beliefs on how they would handle the care of the dead.

HW 47 Interviews

1. How do you want to be taken care of once you pass away?

2. Does handling the dead scare you?

3. What are the rituals of your religion, when handling the dead?

4. If you could change something about how the dead is cared for, what would it be?

Female Age 18

1. I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown in the ocean, it seems peaceful.

2. I used to be afraid of death and seeing dead people but since my grandmother passed away I am okay with the idea of death and the process that happens once one passes on.

3. I'm not really religious but I do believe in God, so I guess the common ritual's such as having a priest say a person's last rights and having a wake followed by a funeral.

4. I think applying make up for a person who has passed away is not necessary, so I would take that aspect away. From personal experience going to an open casket wake and seeing the person with make up, made the person look more dead then "pretty".

Female Age 18

1. I'm honestly unsure. I think its nice to be in a casket and have a funeral, but I don't like the expensive aspect of it. I also don't like the depressing aspect and I prefer a funeral where its not just about being sad but also about moving forward. Before I'm put into a cemetery-if any part of my body can be donated (like my heart, lungs, idk) to people who need them to live on than I would like that.
2. Yes, and death scares me in general. I was uncomfortable with my grandfather's funeral and its scary to admit that an important person is no longer there anymore.
3. I actually have no clue. I don't associate myself strongly with any religion, and my parents doesn't like bringing up about religion since some of my family members are more religious than others.
4. I think as long as (if there's a will) the person who passed away is taken care of in a way they wanted to be, its fine. I don't think there should be restrictions on 'how to care for the dead'

Female Age 17

1. I never really thought about how I want to be taken care of when i die. I guess I don't want people to feel sad about my death because everyone will die eventually and they will know that I'm in a better place.
2. I have never actually seen a dead body but I don't think it's scary I actually think it's interesting to observe a dead body. This depends tho on the situation if the body is in a morgue it's different than seeing someone get shot. But dead bodies are cool.
3. With my religion I noticed that at funerals there is a speech given about the person and their contributions to society, they sing songs and look at the body. With my family's perspective dead people have no life, obviously haha but once you die your spiritual body leaves your physical body and you either go to heaven or hell.
4. I think that people need to decide what people should do to their bodies before they die. Some people don't think they will die early so they say they will plan the way they want to be buried but that never happens.

While reading over the interviews I found it interesting how the third person I interviewed when asked about how their religion handles the lost of someone they mentioned that during funerals there are songs sang and speeches given. I totally forgot about this aspect of a funeral when writing up my initial thoughts. Interviewing people of different races and religion is a great way to open ones opinion/ mind to how people can be taken of once they have passed away.

When the second interviewer was asked how they would like to be taken care once they passed away, they talked about the cost of a funeral and coffin which is another aspect I personally forgot all about. I find it crazy how after a family loses a loved one they then have to worry about paying for a funeral etc. If I could personally change anything about the care of the dead I would change the money factor. I would make funerals, coffins, and tomb stones absolutely free. Families shouldn't have to worry about the cost of a funeral when the only thing they want is there loved one back and getting them the nicest coffin possible (if their not getting cremated).

HW 46

When first thinking about taking care of the dead I automatically think about the common rituals such as a wake and a funeral. Once I thought a little longer I realized there are different ceremony's depending on religions and beliefs. Taking care of the dead is not as easy as it seems. Before death occurs there are rituals that one might do such as having a priest come in and say some one's last rights.

I would like to explore the difference's in ceremony when comparing religions. Although I'm not very religious I believe in having a priest say some one's last rights and having a wake with a funeral. Along with comparing and contrasting religions and their ceremony process, I would like to explore the difference between an open and closed casket, and why some people opt for cremation. My family isn't against anything when it comes to taking care of the dead, so seeing how other family's handle the dead would be interesting.

My personal experience with taking care of the dead has been open casket wakes, were the make up didn't do my family member any justice. For every wake I've been to the casket has been open and I'm not sure why seeing how it makes the process for me at least a lot harder.

Hw 45

I agree with Michelle, I should have gone a little deeper and done research on adoption agencies in different states. I could have compared and contrasted the states and possibly emailed directors to see why they weren't open to homosexual adoption, if that was the case for any other state. The comments were over all great and really boosted my self esteem about my writing thank you mentors.

HW44

Michelle

Researching the differences between birth in the United States and birth in India an contrasting there differences was the main idea of this post. I valued how you explained how although women in India value men much more then they do in America, Indian women are more likely to ask their sister or mother to be in the delivery room. Unlike in America most women want their husband to be right by their side. This project matters to me because if/when I decide to start the birth process I want to know how other countries/ communities do it so I can compare and contrast the ways I want to proceed with my birth. Your project was very interesting, one thing I would recommend is checking for grammar and spelling mistakes.

Arille

Hospital births are horrible and not what your ideal birth is going to be.

After reading your project I valued how personal you got. It made the story interesting and you were very engaging and comical. Just like you I do not plan on having a hospital birth because the nurses and doctors seem too busy and pissed off (based off of what I've researched and learned.) Your story good have been stronger if you spoke deeper about how the nurses treated your mother and what happened once the doctor got to the your mother. I enjoyed your project great job.

Evan D

Your main idea which compared and contrasted the difference between midwives that just practice at houses, and midwives who practice in birthing centers in hospitals was very interesting and caught my attention.

I truly valued how you went out of your way to find a midwife who you could interview, I also valued how after you entered the 11Th floor and found no one, you continued your journey until you found a midwife who you cold interview. I wasn't interested in this topic before but after reading you project I realized how important this topic really is. I would like to dig deeper into your project and see how other midwifes compare or contrast to what Sandy said, and compare what doctors think. Great project, keep up the great work.

Brandon

What are the hardships mothers go through during birth and after birth not only physically, but mentally as well.

I valued the fact that you asked multiple mothers in order to get a bigger variety of answers. I also valued how you thought deeper then a bubble and stated "Having an experience such as childbirth is something that definitely makes you think a lot about the meaning of life." I found this really insightful and deep. Your project was meaningful to me because I too wonder what emotionally happens to a mother after her baby is born. One way you could have made your project stronger was having deeper questions, other then that I was really impressed by your work, great job.

HW 42 Birth Project

While looking into this assignment I found the topic of adoption to be the most interesting. I am adopted and thought it would be interesting to dig deeper about the process my parents had to go through and the restrictions they had while going through this tedious process.

I called up three agencies and questioned them about the protocols in which family's have to follow such as there sexuality. The first agency I called was Leake & Watts, I choose this agency because this was the agency my parents used when adopting me. I called the Homefinding and Foster Parent Recruitment department and simply asked if there was discrimination against homosexuals. I already knew the answer but I was surprised when the guy enthusiastically stated that a family is a family no matter what gender the parents. For some reason I don't recall the people I had encounters with at Leake & Watts to be so friendly, but that was 7 years ago.

After calling Leak & Watts I simply searched NYC adoption agencies in google search and looked through websites till I found an agency that seemed interesting. I came across the Spence-Chapin page and started browsing through it. I was pretty impressed when under the support Spence-Chapin sidebar I saw "Our thrift shop" While looking through the other agency home pages none of them had an option for a thrift shop, I was so amazed because a thrift shop is very helpful for family who receive very low income. Thrift stores act as resources for clothes toys and even supplies such as couches or other bed room furniture. After continuing my "snooping" I found their number and gave them a call. I asked if they accepted homosexual couples and the woman transferred my call, I waited 5 minuets or so and some one finally spoke. I then asked again if homosexual couples were aloud to adopt and I was told to email a head director. I emailed the head director and have yet to hear back. The two people I spoke to seemed hesitant about the situation which lead me to believe that the topic was not accepted very well. To my surprise a women emailed me back and explained that homosexual adoption is accepted and done. For my elevator speech I will bring in the polite email.

Last but not least I picked an agency that is named Bethany Christian Services. Right away I took a leap of faith and called. Unfortunately they were closed so I was unable to talk to someone. While looking through there website I found a side bar that said Domestic Adoption. I wasn't familiar with the word domestic, so I typed I googled domestic partnership and read definitions. "A domestic partnership is a legal or personal relationship between two individuals who live together and share a common domestic life but are neither joined by marriage nor a civil union.""Domestic Partnership." Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 30 Mar. 2011. Web. 05 Apr. 2011. . While reading the definition given by Wikipedia it came to me that my parents (who are both women) are in a domestic partnership, so by putting pieces together I am assuming that this agency allows homosexual adoptions. I could be wrong though so until I get in contact with an actual representative I will not be able to confidentially state that they do allow homosexual adoptions.