HW 19

Me:"Are you afraid of death?"

Mom:

I use to be but as the years go by I become more comfortable with the fact that I too will pass away. The more you understand, the more you appreciate the gift of life and that alone can make me become afraid all over again....

Me: What about death scares you the most?"

Mom: It would be the pain that often comes with dying and will my caregivers know when enough is enough.

Me:"Do you think grandma appreciated her illness?"

Mom: In the earlier stages of her illness, I think your beloved grandma was a bit angry about what was happening to her mind but she was never angry at others around her because of her confusion. She eventualy accepted her lot, relied on and enjoyed her caregivers, continued to adore her family and slipped into being totally present or living completely in the moment which many healthy humans aspire to do.

Me:"Am I in your will"

Mom: Yes, and Mary Ann and I have provided for you in a way that will take care of you if you are still a minor...under 21....so that you can get a great start in life with a solid, meaningful education. Because the economy has taken a turn for the worse and may take a long time to rebound....later on there may not be a lot of money for you to inherit....so my advice is to be wise about how you manage your financial affairs...and if you do inherit....it will be a nice surprise.

Me:"If you could choose how you die, how would you choose to die?"

Mom: Peacefully without horrible pain and with the opportunity to have quality time with my closest family members including our pets.

Me:"Did your family discuss death with you when you were younger?"

Mom: Yes in a meaningful way and perhaps that is why I'm not "deathly afraid of dying".

Me: "Did you teach me about death and illness the way your mom taught you?"

Mom: I've been trying to share my beliefs with you so that you can understand that death is a part of life....and we are all spiritual beings having a human encounter and when this human encounter has been completed as we die, we will return to where we belong....

After looking over my mothers answer, I was really surprised by her responses. We never really talked about death before so hearing about her thoughts on it actually inspired me. When I asked my mom how she would wish to die, she mentioned the normal regurgitated answer, "in a peaceful and painless way." What caught me off guard was she added shed like her pets to be with her in her final days. I never realized how much she appreciated and adored the cats so it was nice to see another side of her.

Hearing my mom say she's no longer scared of death but that realizing how much she appreciates life could scare her again it kind of confused me, how could realizing how much you appreciate life scare you. I took a pause and thought... wait that really does make sense, if I'm having the time of my life and realize that I could die at any moment of course that would scare me. I never thought about death in that way and when I'm having a great time I tend not to really think about my life ending. I personally think that's a good quality but anyone could disagree.

I like how my mom is very open about her thoughts and not afraid to talk about such a touchy topic. Hearing that her family was very open death and illness explains why death isn't such a soft topic for my family. When my grandmother passed away we never really talked about her being gone or about how she passed away. We only talked about all the good times and tried to cover the fact she was really gone. Now I don't disagree with this method it actually makes my mother and I miss her less but the pain of not seeing her is still there.

Interviewing my mom actually brought us closer and the tension about my grandmothers death is now less, we have a better understanding of each other and our personal views. After interviewing my mom we went on to talk about religion and if we believed in heaven and hell etc. This assignment actually impacted my life more then I thought it would.