1. Never mentioned death or dying
2. Erik was mostly home with the kids instead, while Beth worked. (Traditional gender roles switched)
3. Didn't stop making art
4. When Erik started feeling sick he did not go straight to the doctors, he waited some time. Beth stated this was one because of health care/ money issues but also because as a male her husband was stubborn
5. Family really helped Beth out with day to day things such as laundry, so she could spend more quality time with Erik
6. Erik and Beth wanted people to look at Erik as a regular person not a person with cancer
7. Once Erik passed on there was a stillness and feeling in the room that she couldn't describe
8. Although Beth wasn't a Buddhist she found comfort in a Buddhist, who explained what to expect once Erik was ready to pass on
After hearing Beth's story I was very touched, not touched as in "aw I miss someone who left my life" but touched in the way were I wanted to let everyone know I appreciated them even if I picked on them ever so often. Hearing Beth talk about how her husband and her never mentioned death or dying stunned me. I was actually quit jealous, Erik was able to live the rest of his life without really thinking about his death and just enjoying the time he had left with his family and doing "regular" things. Now that I think about it if people didn't have to worry about there death and were always surrounded by people who loved them, there passing would be more peaceful an a lot more relaxing (minus the pain factor depending on the persons illness) Like my mother always tells me "some things are better left unsaid" and I agree this statement fits perfectly with how Beth and Erik treated not mentioning death or dying during Erik's different stages of kidney cancer.
When Beth first started her talk she mentioned that since she was good with computers, she was the one who went to work everyday and earned the larger paycheck. This meant that Erik stayed home with the kids. I found this to be powerful because the "normal" thing is for the guy to work and the women usually stays home and raises the kids, but to hear that the roles were switched gave me some hope that "normal", might not be so normal after all.
Some questions that popped into my head when listening to Beth speak was why did she choose to speak to a Buddhist? Why not a priest or a Rabbi? Another question was how did Erik's illness affect the rest of the family? Such as any of his brothers or sisters, or even her sisters or brothers? She only talked about how Erik's illness and death affected her and her two sons, not those who he had encounters with. My last question was how was she able to hold her composure (tears) while talking to all four classes about her husbands death? I would personally be in tears and unable to hold myself together and just brake down. Having Beth come in and talk to our class really affected the way I act towards people, although its only been a day I am more grateful for the people in my life and I've told all my closest friends that I enjoy there company and would miss them dearly if they ever went anywhere.
Your post is pretty insightful and raises questions that we havent really addressed. One part in particular that stood out to me was; "Now that I think about it if people didn't have to worry about there death and were always surrounded by people who loved them, there passing would be more peaceful an a lot more relaxing" This is interesting, because I think that at some point if someone is ill, they do worry about it. And if they dont worry about it specifically, they are worrying about its repercussions. Such as the inability to provide for their family, and how they will be thought of after death. Also, how can passing be relaxing?
ReplyDeleteI thought your post was very organized and easy to follow; I enjoyed reading it. As Jay mentioned in the above comment, you provided very insightful questions that I did not even think about. One part of the post that caught my attention was, "I found this to be powerful because the "normal" thing is for the guy to work and the women usually stays home and raises the kids, but to hear that the roles were switched gave me some hope that "normal", might not be so normal after all." I liked how this connects back to the overall unit 'normal is weird,' and I found it insightful that you felt a sense of hope that what our society considers to be 'normal' isn't really that normal. I also agree with the statement though, and I think that some of the assumptions of what is taken as 'normal' isn't always right. In a way, Beth proved that it can be normal for the gender roles to switch in families.
ReplyDeleteOverall, this post was very in depth and powerful. I really enjoyed the part of this post when you said, "I found this to be powerful because the "normal" thing is for the guy to work and the women usually stays home and raises the kids, but to hear that the roles were switched gave me some hope that "normal", might not be so normal after all". This sentence is a very deep connection, which gives character and meaning to your post. On the other hand, I think you need to proofread your work before submiting it because you had a few gramatical errors; including the right form of there/their/they're, verb tenses, and comma issues. Your approach on this issue was very interesting and deep.
ReplyDeleteCOMMENT BY: MENTOR
Your post seemed very sincere and posed a number of thoughtful questions. One of your insights that stood out to me was, "Now that I think about it if people didn't have to worry about there death and were always surrounded by people who loved them, there passing would be more peaceful an a lot more relaxing." It seems from your post that you surround yourself with people who love you but do you worry about death? Is there actually a direct link between the two concepts or are we all just as worried as the next person? Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of voice in your response. It is obvious that hearing Beth speak about her husband's death was very thought-provoking for you. Your questions at the end are especially specific and out of the ordinary. It would be interesting if you gave your opinion about Beth speaking to a Buddhist and who you would talk to if you were in a similar situation. Your statements are very honest and I liked that you noticed the switching gender roles. There are a few grammatical errors that you should check over but besides that I think that your writing is very controlled.
ReplyDelete