Hw 59

Prom night was absoulutly amazing. I never imagined that I could have so much fun in one night. Everyone looked gorgous, except for the teachers they could have definitly looked a little better. The food wasn't that good but the beautiful view made up for it. I danced from 8 till 12 nonstop in 4 inch heels. Personally I am very proud of myself, seeing how that was the first time I wore heels. Everyone danced with eachother there was no drama and I smiled till I got home.

Prom was movie perfect I got a kiss at 12 on the dot, I danced with my prom date, everyone was shocked by how some people looked, but there were two things that weren't movie perfect. First there was no prom king and queen ceremony, and second there was no slow dancing. The music was upbeat the whole night. It was nice to see the shy kids in the grade dancing and contributing instead of sitting on the side lonely. I don't think the dance floor was ever empty except for when people took a break to eat, which didn't last very long.

After prom was definitly over played, some people did drink to much but for the most part everyone was pretty sober and there wasn't very much hooking up inloved. I expected myself to stay out till the sun rised but by the time it hit 3 30 all I wanted to was go home and sleep. After prom was stil lfun there was great music and I enjoyed the time I spent with the people that I care the most about. I couldn't have asked for a better night. Prom was amazing and I will remember that night for many years to come.

HW 58 Interviews

Age: 17

Are you looking forward to prom?

No, Just the after party.

Why?

Its a big party were everyone can drink and just have a good time.

Well isn't that just like any other party during the year?

Yes but Its special knowing it's prom, and everyone is dressed a lot nicer.

Do you agree that after prom is an excuse for people to hook up and just blame it on the alcohol?

Yes but regardless people will do that.

Are your thoughts about pro and the after party based off of movies?

Yes I find it quite pathetic that in order to experience something we base it off of movies or things celebrity's do.

Age: 18

Was prom everything you wanted it to be?

Yes I loved dancing with my teachers and everyone was extremely happy and there was no drama. That was the first time all year everyone got along.

Why do you think that was?

The enviorment was just happy and I think people realized that this would be one of the last times we all got to be together.

How was the after party?

We went to an expensive club that was not worth it. I wish we did something else, I barley danced and the people at the club were boring.

What would you change about prom?

The amount of time it took for me to get ready. Being a girl the day of prom is one of the hardest experience's. If one thing goes wrong you think your world has ended.

Age: 55

What was your prom like?

To be honest I don't even remember.

Was it that horrible? Or just to long ago?

It was a while ago (chuckles) and it was just a normal night, we didn't do all the crazy dresses and hair doo's. It was about drinking punch and dancing to music.

Did you have an after party?

I think my after party was going to my best friends house and watching movies, but I don't exactly remember.

I found it amazing that the oldest person I asked didn't even remember details from her prom and it didn't bother her one bit. I feel like prom is played out to be this amazing event when in reality it will be slowly forgotten as years go by. It was also interesting ho where after party was just a simple get together watching movies, now a days people would be considered "lame" or "uncool" if they did that after prom. Like most high schoolers the after party is what juniors and seniors look forward too. But what if your after party isn't everything you wanted it to be? Would your whole experience be ruined? It's sad that movies are what teenagers base their experiences off of. The first person I interviewed admitted that she finds it pathetic that her thoughts on prom are based off of movies. I agree that basing our personal experiences off of something that is scripted should not be how we decided to live life, but then again everything we do is scripted such as going to school and following rules.

Hw 57

When entering 9Th grade it is brought to your attention that as a senior you will attend this big party called prom. As 10Th and 11Th grade goes by its not really talked about, as senior year starts prom is the topic that you never stop hearing about. Girls cry if they don't have a date, boys could are less they just want to remember after prom. There is a saying it doesn't matter who you show up with, it matters who you leave with. Now a days that means who ever you leave prom with or end up with will be the person you end up having sex with or hooking up with. This year more kids are looking forward to the after party then the actual prom it's self.

I think prom holds many social norms that should be changed. I believe females should be able to go alone without being looked at differently. Parents shouldn't be awkward towards their daughter or son's date, and last but not least I believe after prom shouldn't be looked forward to just for sex and alcohol. After prom should be about savoring the last good times with your friends, not about who gets the drunkest first.

Questions:

Why must guys ask the girls?

Where was the first prom held?

What are the differences between suburban and rural proms?

XC COTD1

These two cemetery's are in Pennsylvania an are very old. The tombstones were dated back to the 1800's an even earlier. I felt very uncomfortable walking around the cemetery because I didn't know were the coffins were and if there were still bodies under there (obviously not because it was so long ). When walking around these cemetery's my mom said the saddest ones are the children, I didn't understand what she meant until I found a tombstone that dated 1801- 1803. I was suddenly over whelmed with sadness and just wanted to hug my mother. I tried imaging what the coffin/ casket might look like under the ground so small and lifeless but I just couldn't picture it. I wanted to dig until I hit a coffin but that is disrespectful and inappropriate, plus its illegal and I am now 18.

I noticed that there were some head stones that were tall, wide, short, small, what ever the tombstone was it meant there was a lifeless casket underneath it. It was the weirdest feeling knowing hundreds of people were buried under a ground but yet after a certain amount of time the body disappears and the thought of the person slowly disappears like the words on their tombstone. I wish I had went to a more recent cemetery so I could compare recent tombstones to old tombstones (besides the obvious). It would have been the coolest thing if a ghost took over my body or I felt something brush my hand but instead I felt completely alone and everything seemed quite. There was no wind, no birds chirping, no cars driving past, nothing, just the thought that some one who once was breath was now gone and only remembered by the words on a stone. Which by the way were grey and dull, there were no flowers anywhere. the only not so dull thing was the freshly cut grass.

I am now positive that I do not want to be buried in a cemetery because after a while my tombstone will get dull and I don't want people trotting all over me. Cemetery's are scary, not because they are surrounded by dead people but because they are the most quit and lonely place I've been. Visiting the cemetery's made me appreciate the small things in life such as sound, and the hugs of my loved ones. I hate the feeling of being alone so being able to tell my family that once I die I do not want to be buried in a cemetery is a load off of my shoulders.

HW 56

David: Your elevator speech made me very interested in home births in new york city. It was very interesting to see that you home births are allowed in New York as long as a funeral director is in the home, that defeats the whole purpose of a personal home birth but this is better then nothing in my opinion. It was nice seeing the links at the bottom of your post, great work!

http://ineedablogforandysclass.blogspot.com/

Jessica: It was interesting to hear about your grandmothers encounters putting make up on the dead and the fact that your mother started at a young age was quite shocking. Would you ever consider following in their footsteps? You could have taken your project a couple of steps further by possibly bringing pictures in of your grandmother an mothers work, or making a video clip of them talking about there experiences. I really enjoyed hearing your elevator speech keep up the great work.

*There was no blog post for Jessica's project so I can not post the link.

Kristen: Your pamphlet was amazing, not only the visuals, but the material inside. It was nice to read about the alternatives and not only have a price range for each alternative but also a number we could call for extra help/ resources. It would have been interesting to read why you chose to pick those alternative choices to talk about instead of the others that might be available but other then that I thought your project was amazing and really helpful for when I think about my further plans when planning the way I want to be handled after my death.

http://khriisthebest.blogspot.com/

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Comments to me:

From Raven: I think your video was very creative and interesting and I was also interested in the different perspectives about what people believe happens after death. I think people don't think about death very often and that is why they are sometimes surprised when asked questions about death.

From Ally: I liked christina's and Salathen's views on death, you wont know what hurts or whats being done with your body cause your dead and wont feel it. I think that puts ease to my mind (and possibly others) when I think about death. I like how you question your own actions when it comes to drawing a cross on your chest and kissing your hand to the sky. I also wondered why people did this and will probably ask or do some research on it. Your video was nicely put together and was interesting to watch.

HW 55

Video link: http://vimeo.com/23832333

I was surprised when Christina and Salathen said they didn't really care about what happens to them because they will be dead and won't know either way. Christina goes to church every Sunday so I figured she would have a more in depth thought about the plans she has for her body after death. I never thought about death as something i wouldn't have a part in once I'm dead, so hearing Christina and Salathen say they didn't care makes perfect sense now. It was nice how Yarelyn said she would let her mother decide were to throw her ashes and then did the gesture the sun the god and the holy spirit and looked up to towards the sky. I found this very interesting because she did it as a gesture of luck/ protection that her mom will still be here once it is Yarelyn's time to go. I tend to do that when I pass cemetery's and churches. I personally don't know why I do it, it became a random habit after seeing my grandmother doing it.

HW 54

I am not very religious but I was raised a Christian. After doing some research it was very clear that the social norms of common day society is what Christian's follow. In many articles passages from John were brought up, Christian's look at there life as a gift from God and passing away is just part of there journey for God. There is an order in which things are to be done when one is passing or passed away. First a priest must read the person their last rights so their transition is easy and blessed, secondly there is a vigil wake, where the loved ones can say their last good byes and prayers, thirdly there is a requiem mass were non Catholic visitors are welcomed to say their last good byes. During the mass the head of the person must be facing towards the priest. Last but not least there is the burial or cremation.

I decided to go to a church that I went to as a child and talk to one of the priest. I felt very uncomfortable randomly talking to a priest for many reasons. Two main reasons were one the fact that I am gay and that's a sin and two I haven't been to a full mass in over 7 years. So I took a seat in the one of the benches and prayed, not for anything in peculiar just random prayers.

HW 53

Articles to come

Interview with funeral director

Highlights: "After a while you lose some emotion and the tears don't always come when they should"

"I wouldn't change my job for any job on wall street, I love what I do"

"It's not all about business for family and friends I give a lot of discounts, I like having a relationship with my customers"

It was very interesting interviewing a funeral director, I picked her because one she handled my grandmothers funeral and wake which means a lot to me and two she is one of my mothers best friends so it was easy access. During the interview I sensed an easiness in the room even though the door to were the bodies were was 5 feet away from me. I wish I would have asked better questions that didn't lead to possible regurgitated thoughts. If I were to interview her again I would think deeper about my questions and ask how did her childhood play a role in her decision to handle the dead?, and when her family passes away does the emotion come back?

HW 52

Precis: Funeral homes in order to keep there business up have to portray the idea of after life and reincarnation as an option. Despite someones religion most people believe there is something after death, so funeral homes use peoples beliefs to there advantage, by having many options available for families so there dead loved one can "travel" easily.

Quotes:

"I'll see you next lifetime, the drunk told the harpist as I left" (Jokinen, 237)

"Due to a logistical mix-up, the remains of 135 children were left behind, and now rest under a

Home Depot, Costco and two-store praking garage." (Jokinen, 246)

"When people are on their deathbed, what they want is to make sure they're not forgotten." (Jokinen, 251)

Analysis: I believe that since humans know they will eventually pass on they want to believe there is something beyond just laying underground till they rot or being burned so their family can spread your ashes in the wind. Believing in an after life is a lot more soothing then just believing nothing happens, at least that's how I feel. Many people in society like to believe in something because it gives them something to look forward to weather or not what they believe in is true. After finishing Curtains it is easy to see that funeral homes take handling the dead to a level all about profit and not about the emotion and families effected by the death. Handling the dead comes with many responsibility's such as informing families that a Maple coffin is a better way to travel to heaven then a plain oak coffin. Personally I find funerals to be a scam and families shouldn't have to pay people in order to pay there loved ones respect.

Hw 51

Precis: Funerals act as a goodbye for the families and as a time for families to look back and remember all the good times they had with the loved one that passed on. Before funerals turned into a profitable market they were generated around the idea of respecting the dead and helping them transition into their next life/ journey. With today's industry funerals have lost there true meaning and are all about making profit. Funeral parlors just want to make as much profit as possible that they forget about the feelings of the families and loved ones.

Quotes:

"Again I am caught, waiting for an intimate moment to pass." (Jokinen 110)

"To Richard and me the glasses are a prop. Same with the watch. To the families, they're the women who wore them" (Jokinen 113)

"Japanese Buddhists will only cremate on certain days of the week never on tomoniki, or "friend-pulling days" (Jokinen 126)

"In Princeton, British Columbia, a funeral director was charged with thirty-four count of fraud and negligence for allegedly giving the wrong cremated remains to families" (Jokinen 131)

Analysis: After reading the second third of Curtains it was very clear that the characters viewed grieving as a weakness. I thought back to reality and realized I am surrounded by people who are like that. If someone is seen crying it symbolizes weakness to some, but why when someone cries at a funeral it is viewed as honor or "okay" Our society is very hypocritical which results to a lot of double standards. I personally find it disrespectful for people to use death as a way to make a profit. Reading about hug able urns is not very pleasing, Tom's boss Neil seems very unemotional when trying to "sell" his products to grieving families. He tries to explain how although other funeral parlors say there cheaper in reality their not, why doesn't he try and comfort the family before trying to sell 8000 dollar urns. If Neil wanted to make more profit I believe being more compassionate with families would draw them in and feel more welcomed. As the book continues I hope Tom will find a way to put his two cents in on how he feels about the funeral parlors traditions in handling the dead.

HW 49

Michelle

My comment to Michelle: It was so interesting reading your initials thoughts. I also found it interesting that at your age some one close hasn't died, know a days I hear about death left and right because of all these diseases such as cancer, aids, etc. I liked how you really got into detail about how your culture handles the dead and if our culture took on some rituals from your culture the death process might be more about the dead loved one instead of what there coffin looks like and how much money is spent on the tombstone. I noticed your grammar and spelling has improved tremendously, keep up the great work!

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Michelle's comment to me:

Stephanie

To start with you had great questions, questions that would receive good answers with little elaboration. But i've learned after couple of interview that it helps to tell them some background info first on what we are studying this unit for them to be able to answer well. But overall it was good, how you learned how your mothers have two complete different point of views on belief of the dead but still agree on that there should be a certain respect for the dead. I liked how the last line wrapped up your blog, " Asking my parents these clarifying questions definitely helped me understand there thoughts and beliefs on how they would handle the care of the dead" because for me this HW did the same thing for me. Only thing could have done was to proof read, besides that well done!

Evan

My comment to Evan: I was shocked that everyone you interviewed was unsure of how they wanted to be buried, yes it's a sad thing and yes we are young but it eventually has to be talked about. Although I don't know exactly what I want once I die I do know that I want my funereal to be like a party and I don't want people to be sad and cry. I enjoyed that you asked everyone if the funeral was religiously orientated, and reading about how Jewish families handle death was interesting. Over all your post was good, just reread your work for grammar and spelling mistakes. Keep up the good work!

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Evan's comment to me:

I liked the order you asked your questions in, it made you interview stronger. You stated that" Although she isn't very religious she respects the social norms of society and handles the care with respect." I found this very true in my interviews as well. People had either religion beliefs to follow or there own beliefs but they still respected and followed what they thought were the social norms for the care of the dead. I feel you could have found another connection but I enjoyed reading your post.

Hw 50

Precis: After death caretakers in funeral homes play one of the biggest roles, we have to make the transition from life to death as smooth as possible for the dead's loved ones. We do this by adding outrageous ornaments to the coffins and artificial chemicals to try and take away the smell of the dead. Although us caretakers put a lot of time and effort into the process of fixing up the dead for wake's and funeral's, it is still a hard task to make the lifeless room feel emotion.

Quotes:

"In my head, it sounds like a fairy-tale: the dead come from a magic place called the Silver Doors, from which they are whisked into boxes or made to drink potions that turn them from yellow to green, then they're painted pink and purple and powdered, and some are baked in an oven where they are turned into flour by special death-fairies" (Jokinen 19).

"But dead themseleves became a nuisance" (Jokinen 23)

"He has amazing drainage!" (Jokinen 55)

Analysis:

After reading the first third of CURTAINS by Tom Jokinen it was very easy to see that the process of caring for the dead is mainly a business. From cremation, to the coffins everything has a price, and in our society that's what makes everything work in a cycle. The factories in which embalming is done is very similar to slaughter houses (worker wise) Workers get in a routine and simply lose emotion while doing the same thing over multiple times a day. As a society we give into these rituals by thinking the only way for our loved ones to "rest in peace" is by having them suffocated in an oak coffin that would probably making a living person feel constricted and suffocated. Curtains has pulled me in but certain parts such as reading about co workers actions during their lunch break doesn't seem very important to me, I am very eager to keep reading and finding out other secrets and routines that care takers follow when handling the dead. It would also be interesting if Tom stands up to the system and changes the routines of handling the dead that he doesn't agree with.

Hw 48 (comment this break hw)

1. What do you see as the "social norm" when handling the dead?

2. Do your personal beliefs compare or contrast with the social norms?

3. Does your religion play a part in your thoughts about handling the dead?

4. What do you think happens after death?

Mother

1. Having a wake, memorial/funeral service is still very much practiced

2. I'm in agreement that our loved ones who pass on deserve to be remembered!

3. Yes, I would want to be respectful of the religious customs of the departed and their family

4. I prefer to believe that we are all one thing and that this thing is called by many names and that this one thing is in all of us living things and this one thing is eternal.

Mother

1. Usually, a wake and funeral are held in honor of the dead. Sometimes there is a memorial service if one is not waked.

2. I agree with the social norms of how society handles death.

3. Yes religion plays a huge role in my thoughts about how death is handled. One should always be aware of others beliefs on what is the "right" way of dealing with death is. Different religions believe different things and you should always be respectful of their beliefs even if you don't necessarily agree.

4. After death I believe that the soul leaves the human body and departs on another journey that will last them forever in Heaven.

When my first mother answered the questions it was interesting that she never mentioned a specific religion yet she believed we were all connected in a special way. Although she isn't very religious she respects the social norms of society and handles the care with respect. When contrasting both of my parents it was interesting how my second mom thought religion played a big role in her thoughts about handling the dead.

This topic is not talked about much and it was interesting to see how my parents felt towards the questions I asked them. When I asked my family about how religion played a role in there child hood they didn't make it seem like it played a huge role, so I was surprised when both of my parents said that they follow social norms and believe in the traditional ways when handling the dead. The quote "After death I believe that the soul leaves the human body and departs on another journey that will last them forever in Heaven" really impacted me because I believe in that theory as well but I don't have evidence behind why. I tried getting my mom to elaborate on her thoughts but we just went in circles. I find it hard to believe in something that can't be proved but since Heaven and Hell has always been something I was taught its hard to think of anything but that. Asking my parents these clarifying questions definitely helped me understand there thoughts and beliefs on how they would handle the care of the dead.

HW 47 Interviews

1. How do you want to be taken care of once you pass away?

2. Does handling the dead scare you?

3. What are the rituals of your religion, when handling the dead?

4. If you could change something about how the dead is cared for, what would it be?

Female Age 18

1. I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown in the ocean, it seems peaceful.

2. I used to be afraid of death and seeing dead people but since my grandmother passed away I am okay with the idea of death and the process that happens once one passes on.

3. I'm not really religious but I do believe in God, so I guess the common ritual's such as having a priest say a person's last rights and having a wake followed by a funeral.

4. I think applying make up for a person who has passed away is not necessary, so I would take that aspect away. From personal experience going to an open casket wake and seeing the person with make up, made the person look more dead then "pretty".

Female Age 18

1. I'm honestly unsure. I think its nice to be in a casket and have a funeral, but I don't like the expensive aspect of it. I also don't like the depressing aspect and I prefer a funeral where its not just about being sad but also about moving forward. Before I'm put into a cemetery-if any part of my body can be donated (like my heart, lungs, idk) to people who need them to live on than I would like that.
2. Yes, and death scares me in general. I was uncomfortable with my grandfather's funeral and its scary to admit that an important person is no longer there anymore.
3. I actually have no clue. I don't associate myself strongly with any religion, and my parents doesn't like bringing up about religion since some of my family members are more religious than others.
4. I think as long as (if there's a will) the person who passed away is taken care of in a way they wanted to be, its fine. I don't think there should be restrictions on 'how to care for the dead'

Female Age 17

1. I never really thought about how I want to be taken care of when i die. I guess I don't want people to feel sad about my death because everyone will die eventually and they will know that I'm in a better place.
2. I have never actually seen a dead body but I don't think it's scary I actually think it's interesting to observe a dead body. This depends tho on the situation if the body is in a morgue it's different than seeing someone get shot. But dead bodies are cool.
3. With my religion I noticed that at funerals there is a speech given about the person and their contributions to society, they sing songs and look at the body. With my family's perspective dead people have no life, obviously haha but once you die your spiritual body leaves your physical body and you either go to heaven or hell.
4. I think that people need to decide what people should do to their bodies before they die. Some people don't think they will die early so they say they will plan the way they want to be buried but that never happens.

While reading over the interviews I found it interesting how the third person I interviewed when asked about how their religion handles the lost of someone they mentioned that during funerals there are songs sang and speeches given. I totally forgot about this aspect of a funeral when writing up my initial thoughts. Interviewing people of different races and religion is a great way to open ones opinion/ mind to how people can be taken of once they have passed away.

When the second interviewer was asked how they would like to be taken care once they passed away, they talked about the cost of a funeral and coffin which is another aspect I personally forgot all about. I find it crazy how after a family loses a loved one they then have to worry about paying for a funeral etc. If I could personally change anything about the care of the dead I would change the money factor. I would make funerals, coffins, and tomb stones absolutely free. Families shouldn't have to worry about the cost of a funeral when the only thing they want is there loved one back and getting them the nicest coffin possible (if their not getting cremated).

HW 46

When first thinking about taking care of the dead I automatically think about the common rituals such as a wake and a funeral. Once I thought a little longer I realized there are different ceremony's depending on religions and beliefs. Taking care of the dead is not as easy as it seems. Before death occurs there are rituals that one might do such as having a priest come in and say some one's last rights.

I would like to explore the difference's in ceremony when comparing religions. Although I'm not very religious I believe in having a priest say some one's last rights and having a wake with a funeral. Along with comparing and contrasting religions and their ceremony process, I would like to explore the difference between an open and closed casket, and why some people opt for cremation. My family isn't against anything when it comes to taking care of the dead, so seeing how other family's handle the dead would be interesting.

My personal experience with taking care of the dead has been open casket wakes, were the make up didn't do my family member any justice. For every wake I've been to the casket has been open and I'm not sure why seeing how it makes the process for me at least a lot harder.

Hw 45

I agree with Michelle, I should have gone a little deeper and done research on adoption agencies in different states. I could have compared and contrasted the states and possibly emailed directors to see why they weren't open to homosexual adoption, if that was the case for any other state. The comments were over all great and really boosted my self esteem about my writing thank you mentors.

HW44

Michelle

Researching the differences between birth in the United States and birth in India an contrasting there differences was the main idea of this post. I valued how you explained how although women in India value men much more then they do in America, Indian women are more likely to ask their sister or mother to be in the delivery room. Unlike in America most women want their husband to be right by their side. This project matters to me because if/when I decide to start the birth process I want to know how other countries/ communities do it so I can compare and contrast the ways I want to proceed with my birth. Your project was very interesting, one thing I would recommend is checking for grammar and spelling mistakes.

Arille

Hospital births are horrible and not what your ideal birth is going to be.

After reading your project I valued how personal you got. It made the story interesting and you were very engaging and comical. Just like you I do not plan on having a hospital birth because the nurses and doctors seem too busy and pissed off (based off of what I've researched and learned.) Your story good have been stronger if you spoke deeper about how the nurses treated your mother and what happened once the doctor got to the your mother. I enjoyed your project great job.

Evan D

Your main idea which compared and contrasted the difference between midwives that just practice at houses, and midwives who practice in birthing centers in hospitals was very interesting and caught my attention.

I truly valued how you went out of your way to find a midwife who you could interview, I also valued how after you entered the 11Th floor and found no one, you continued your journey until you found a midwife who you cold interview. I wasn't interested in this topic before but after reading you project I realized how important this topic really is. I would like to dig deeper into your project and see how other midwifes compare or contrast to what Sandy said, and compare what doctors think. Great project, keep up the great work.

Brandon

What are the hardships mothers go through during birth and after birth not only physically, but mentally as well.

I valued the fact that you asked multiple mothers in order to get a bigger variety of answers. I also valued how you thought deeper then a bubble and stated "Having an experience such as childbirth is something that definitely makes you think a lot about the meaning of life." I found this really insightful and deep. Your project was meaningful to me because I too wonder what emotionally happens to a mother after her baby is born. One way you could have made your project stronger was having deeper questions, other then that I was really impressed by your work, great job.

HW 42 Birth Project

While looking into this assignment I found the topic of adoption to be the most interesting. I am adopted and thought it would be interesting to dig deeper about the process my parents had to go through and the restrictions they had while going through this tedious process.

I called up three agencies and questioned them about the protocols in which family's have to follow such as there sexuality. The first agency I called was Leake & Watts, I choose this agency because this was the agency my parents used when adopting me. I called the Homefinding and Foster Parent Recruitment department and simply asked if there was discrimination against homosexuals. I already knew the answer but I was surprised when the guy enthusiastically stated that a family is a family no matter what gender the parents. For some reason I don't recall the people I had encounters with at Leake & Watts to be so friendly, but that was 7 years ago.

After calling Leak & Watts I simply searched NYC adoption agencies in google search and looked through websites till I found an agency that seemed interesting. I came across the Spence-Chapin page and started browsing through it. I was pretty impressed when under the support Spence-Chapin sidebar I saw "Our thrift shop" While looking through the other agency home pages none of them had an option for a thrift shop, I was so amazed because a thrift shop is very helpful for family who receive very low income. Thrift stores act as resources for clothes toys and even supplies such as couches or other bed room furniture. After continuing my "snooping" I found their number and gave them a call. I asked if they accepted homosexual couples and the woman transferred my call, I waited 5 minuets or so and some one finally spoke. I then asked again if homosexual couples were aloud to adopt and I was told to email a head director. I emailed the head director and have yet to hear back. The two people I spoke to seemed hesitant about the situation which lead me to believe that the topic was not accepted very well. To my surprise a women emailed me back and explained that homosexual adoption is accepted and done. For my elevator speech I will bring in the polite email.

Last but not least I picked an agency that is named Bethany Christian Services. Right away I took a leap of faith and called. Unfortunately they were closed so I was unable to talk to someone. While looking through there website I found a side bar that said Domestic Adoption. I wasn't familiar with the word domestic, so I typed I googled domestic partnership and read definitions. "A domestic partnership is a legal or personal relationship between two individuals who live together and share a common domestic life but are neither joined by marriage nor a civil union.""Domestic Partnership." Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 30 Mar. 2011. Web. 05 Apr. 2011. . While reading the definition given by Wikipedia it came to me that my parents (who are both women) are in a domestic partnership, so by putting pieces together I am assuming that this agency allows homosexual adoptions. I could be wrong though so until I get in contact with an actual representative I will not be able to confidentially state that they do allow homosexual adoptions.

41 Independent Research

"Adoption Qualifications." Chinese Children Charities-Chinese Children Adoption International - a Leader in China Adoption. 4 Nov. 1998. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. . According to this organization you must be in a heterosexual relationship in order to adopt a chinese baby.

"Haiti Adoption - Qualifications." Haiti Adoption. Haitian Adoption, 4 Apr. 1974. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. . If a heterosexual couple wants to adopt a Haitian child from this organization they cannot have more then two children of their own.

"Qualifications For The Adoption Of Foster Children | LIVESTRONG.COM."LIVESTRONG.COM - Lose Weight & Get Fit with Diet, Nutrition & Fitness Tools. Lance Armstrong, 26 Feb. 2010. Web. 29 Mar. 2011. . To adopt a foster child one must take several classes (that add up to 40 hrs) before a family can finish the process of adoption.

"BBC - Health: Who Can Adopt?" BBC - Homepage. Web. 30 Mar. 2011. .

It takes up to 8 months for a person/ couple to be processed and evaluated before they can be matched with a child.

Barrett, Mary Catherine. "Changes to Ohio Adoption Laws." Domestic Adoptions Ohio, Surrogacy Law, Cleveland Adoption Lawyer. Web. 30 Mar. 2011. . While the birth mother is pregnant with the child that is going to be adopted, the adoptive family must pay the birth mother up to 3,000 dollars during her birth period and up to 60 days after the baby is born.

According to the research that I've done I would like to do a project that circulates around homosexuality and adoption. Many places stated that only heterosexual places could adopt but shouldn't it be up to the mother to decide who should take her child? I would like to conduct a study on how many mothers actually get to decide who gets to adopt their child. Another project That I would like to conduct is a compare and contrast between adoption organizations and there beliefs on homosexuality.

40 Insights from part 3

Hey Peggy Vincent, thanks for writing Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a midwife. Your main argument which compared the differences between a doctor and midwife made me rethink birth and pregnancy and how I will pursue my birth when the time comes.

Well, in the last third of the book you focused on the do's and don't of being a midwife which connected back to the first 2/3rd's of the book. But let me be more specific.

1. Why didn't you have personal limitations on the people you would give home births too? What about your beliefs made your boundaries so broad? Page 220

2. What about being a midwife affects the decision for insurance not to cover you? page 233

3. When assisting in a hospital birth why aren't you allowed to give/ say your opinion to the mother in labor? What about having a midwife license changes the privileges you have in the hospital? If you good go back on repeat any hospital birth you had a part in which one would you change? page 244

"But what could I have done to make this a better book - that would more effectively fulfill its mission?" You answer,

Well, lets be clear your text sought to provide historical analysis of how midwifery has grown over the years, and policy analysis by explaing all the privileges midwives have gained since they first started their practice. From the perspective of a midwife who struggled to gain the respect from not only your peers but from respected doctors you have done a great job portraying your beautiful journey as a midwife. Given that aim, and your book, the best advice I would give for a 2nd edition of the text would be, to describe experiences were you went against the hospitals authority and it resulted in a better ending then if everyone would have followed hospital protocol. But I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing. I appreciate the immense amount of labor you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about the struggles midwifes had to go through in order to gain all the respect they have now and what it truly means to be a midwife emotionally and physically. In fact, I'm likely to do more research on the privileges midwifes are allowed due to the stories you recapped in your book.

The author replies, "Thanks! Talking to you gives me hope about our future as a society!"

HW 39 Insights Part 2

1. Vincent, Peggy. Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a modern midwife. New York: Scribner, 2002. Print.

Business of being born shows a different side to how the doctors treat the mothers in labor, they show that the doctors do care and are very willing to help the mothers in birth. While in Baby Catcher the doctors are seen as bad guys who could care less about the mother , they just want to deliver the baby. Another thing that Business of being born does different is after birth they don't go into detail about what happens with the baby or with the mother, while in Baby Catcher Peggy Vincent goes into detail about how she cuts the umbilical cord and how she handles the placenta. Business of being born also doesn't get into how age affects a birth, while Peggy Vincent goes into detail with two different birth stories on how age caused different side affects during birth.

2. Major insights: The second hundred pages have basically the same major insight as the first hundred pages except some deaths during pregnancy occur, so Peggy Vincent makes it a point to let the mothers know that they can always try again and have a "spirit baby". She also makes it clear that regardless of the setting of the birth (hospital or home) death's during pregnancy can and will occur.

My thoughts: I agree with Peggy Vincent, if a mother loses a baby during birth she should try to conceive again if that's what her and her family want. I also agree that the pain of losing a child will never completely go away but it will get easier as time goes on just like any death that occurs.

3. Interesting aspects:

1. The points in which a home birth has to be taken to the hospital. page 119-121

2. Spirit babies. page 126

3. How babies die in the womb/ during birth. Page 148- 150

4. How placentas are used. page 154-155

5. The affect of age during birth/pregnancy. page 127

4: Independent research: How does age affect birth

"Women usually have some decrease in fertility starting in their early 30s. It often takes a woman in her mid-30s or older longer to conceive than a younger woman. Men also may have some decrease in fertility starting in their late 30s" As woman increase in age they become less fertile which causes many issues, the main one being it is a lot harder to get pregnant. This supports what Peggy Vincent brought up because she was very unsure about getting pregnant at her old age and the quote supports her doubts, one being that she may not be able to conceive. Peggy Vincent's evidence is factual because it is a known and proven fact that as woman get older it is harder to get pregnant.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/trying_after35.html

HW 38 Insights

1. The book Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent is an non fiction story about Peggy Vincent's experience with giving birth and helping others give birth.

3. Major insight:

There are two major insights, one being that woman shouldn't resort to narcotics as a first option when feeling pain during birth, they should try more natural things, such as singing, humming, breathing, dancing, or anything to calm themselves down. The second major insight is that midwives have a different way of looking at birth then doctors do.

"Midwives believe birth is normal till proven otherwise. Doctors don't" Page 58 Doctors resort to drugs and operations to make the process faster, when that only slows it down.

4. My insights: I agree with Peggy Vincent when it comes to midwives think about birth differently then doctors because midwives have a different perspective on birth and are looking out for the mothers best interest, while doctors are just trying to get the pregnancy over with.

Interesting aspects of birth: 1. During the beginning of Peggy's journey with helping delivering babies she hit some walls on weather or not doing subtle things such as changing the way you breath or changing the position someone gives birth really change the amount of pain woman feel when giving birth. 2. Peggy Vincent made it know that midwives should not be seen as someone less then a doctor and that there way of dealing with birth is more reliable then doctors, when dealing with pain and having normal births. 3. Less narcotics a pregnant woman uses during the time she gives birth the better off the mother is in the end. 4. Practice giving birth before you give birth, so your husband can get prepared as well. 5.

5. Authors use of evidence: Peggy Vincent uses a great amount of evidence but mostly based off of personal experience, I haven't read any statistics or anything comparing real doctors to real midwives. In my reading I am touching on the midwife topic so hopeful Peggy Vincent will compare a real doctor to a real midwife and see how the differ.

Comments

My comment to Evan D.

It was very interesting how you interviewed multiple mothers who had C- Sections and how they both said it was less painful. Your interviews were very detailed and intriguing, one thing you could work on is digging deeper and analyzing what the mothers said about birth. Other then that your post was very good I can't wait to read more.

Evan's comment to me

I like that you found three birth stories that were different and unique to one another. I thought it was interesting that you questioned the mothers diet in story two as if she could have prevented her baby from being fat. You questioned the mother’s actions in story one as if she did something to her stomach to almost lead her baby to death. I don’t think a mother would try to kill her child right before it is born. Do you think these things happed only because of the mother or are these things common? I think you could have elaborated on the story a bit more.

My comment to Michelle

Your blog was very interesting although the person you interviewed answered with "bubbles", It would have been interesting to see how her answers would have changed if you made her dig deeper with her thoughts. Your questions were very interesting and well thought about. One thing you could improve on she spelling and grammar, other then that I really enjoyed reading your post.

Michelle's comment to me

I liked that most of the questions you asked were new and have not been discussed in class, so it'd be interesting to hear what our classmates view on them would be. The line I found was the best was where you went deeper into the baby story by asking questions than just making bubbles, "What about the babies position made the umbilical cord choke the baby? How could this have been prevented? and Was it the mother's fault or the babies fault?" What would have made your post even better was if you questioned these people you interviewed to go deeper into the bigger picture.But besides that, Good Job!

Hw 36 Birth stories

Birth Story 1:

My birth was a pretty dramatic experience for my mom and now makes a unique story. About a week before my due date, I did a somersault in my mom's stomach and the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. My mom had a strong feeling that something went wrong so she went straight to the hospital. Before she knew it, she was under heavy drugs and had no choice but to have a cesarean section. My family considers this a blessing and from time to time we all think about how different things would have been if my mom didn't follow her instincts.

It was interesting to hear how even though the umbilical cord wrapped around the babies neck the baby survived. Another interesting point was the fact that her family till this day still think her birth was a blessing.

This story fits in society's image of birth for the most part except for the baby being choked by its own umbilical cord (even tho it has happened before.) What about the babies position made the umbilical cord choke the baby? How could this have been prevented? and Was it the mother's fault or the babies fault?

I want to explore what makes an umbilical cord choke a baby.

Birth story 2:

My mother was in bed rest from 17 weeks to 32 weeks and it was pretty horrible. It was a normal vaginal delivery and it went as planned. I was not a fat baby but I was very chubby.

It was interesting that although the baby wasn't extremely fat and not premature the mom still had to be in best rest for such a long period of time.

Because of the vaginal delivery the pregnancy was normal, as for being bed ridden for so long I don't know how common that is. If the baby wasn't fat what made the mother bed ridden for so long? Also if the mother changed her diet could she have prevented the amount of time she was bed ridden?

I want to explore what about pregnancy makes the mother bed ridden.

Birth story 3:

There wasn't anything weird about my birth just things that occurred on my birthday were a little out of the ordinary. The first batman movie was put into theaters the day of my birth and after I was born my mother got a bear and left. I wish there was more to say about my birth but it was a perfect birth and my mother said it wasn't very painful.

It was interesting how the most memorable thing for the family is that on the day of the babies birth the batman movie came out, I found it humorous that her mother got a beer and just left without seeing if the baby was alright or not.

For society this birth is considered "normal" except for what occurred afterwards, the mother left and got a beer instead of checking on the baby. Aren't there procedure's that a mother has to follow before they leave the hospital?

I want to explore what procedures must be done before a mother leaves the hospital.

Hw 35

1. How would your parents feel if you got pregnant?

Susan:My mother would say "What happened? I always told you to keep your legs closed and your eyes open, now your life will be much more difficult" So she would be really disappointed.

Samantha: OMG, they would be in total shock and disappointed.

Catherine: My mom would be upset, but would help me raise the baby, or babies if they were twins or triplets.

2. Does the way society act towards teenage pregnancy upset you?

Susan: No, because I believe young people should have a a social life for as long as possible.

Samantha: No, because we are too young to take care of kids 24/7.

Catherine: I guess it upsets me a little, but it is what it is and I can't really change it.

3. If you could change one thing about the birth process what would it be?

Susan: I would change the whole pain thing.

Samantha:Let the man go through the pregnancy!

Catherine: How long it takes for the process to happen because there are really good medicines that make the pain go away.

4. Would your opinion about birth change if you knew your child had a high risk of having a disability?

Susan: No, every life is worth something.

Samantha:Yes definitely, I would terminate the pregnancy. It would be double the work.

Catherine: Who ever says yes is shallow, I would take care of the baby

5. If your child was born with both organs how would you decide which organ to keep?

Susan: That's a tough one, I would wait until the babies older.

Samantha: OH JESUS, It would have to be which ever one the baby had more of. If it had ovaries then goodbye penis, if it had no ovaries then hello penis.

Catherine: I don't really know, I guess I would wait until the baby got older and see what the baby is more comfortable with.

After looking over my interviewers answers It was obvious that all 3 girls parents would be highly upset and disappointed if there daughter got pregnant. These answers seemed very common and just bubbles, each answer was a sentence or to long, but I'll take some of the blame because the structure of my questions could be at fault. I found it very interesting that when asked if there was a high risk of the baby coming out with a disability would that change your opinion about birth, Samantha said she would automatically have an abortion. I tried to dig deeper and ask her why she was so quick to say she would have an abortion. She just kept repeating it would be to much work and the child wouldn't have a good life. Sam didn't really take time to think about her answer and just regurgitate things to me, if she would have taken a minuet more to think I believe her answer would have had a better explanation to why she would want to abort a baby just because it would have a disability.

When asking about the baby and if it had both organs, I wasn't looking for serious answers but after hearing the answers given they made sense. I would wait till the baby grew older in order to make the decision on which sex the baby should be. I feel like that would be a very difficult decision, what if I picked the wrong sex? Would that make the child gay? Its amazing how a decision that won't affect the child until 7 to 8 years after could cause a life long issue. After surveying people it is easy to say that when having sex you must really make sure your ready for a child regardless of if you have safe sex. Yes this is something most of us are taught once we learn about the birds and the bees but as one gets older it becomes reality and birth is something that changes some one's life forever.

HW 34 Initial thoughts on birth

Although I understand the process of making a baby, the whole concept still amazes me. At the age of 17 it is still hard to understand what exactly goes on during the birth process and why it takes 9 or so months. In movies they make the whole idea of birth look fun and exciting, but in reality birth is a painful and long process. One thought that I have always had was if women/girls (young teenagers) weren't able to have babies until after college, this would save a lot of hardship and stress in young women's lives. Obviously this is unrealistic but it makes sense, and I don't see any cons to it.

When I think about birth the T.V show Teen Moms pops into my head because I'm around there age and at any point that could have been me ( If I liked guys and if I ever decided to have sex let alone unprotected sex) Shows such as Teen mom make teenage mothers look bad, not all teenage mother's are irresponsible and careless. People should be more open to helping teen mothers in need, even tho they made the decision to have the baby. My last thought about birth is that I am against abortion unless the mother has been raped.

Questions

Why is the process 9 months?

Will there be easier ways in the future to give birth?

What are the pros and cons about hospital births vs. home births?

Why don't we remember our time in the womb?

Hw 32 comments on Partners

Megumi

I was very impressed by this post, I sensed growth and a new level of maturity while reading through your final post about the unit. Just like you I am afraid what the future holds but I'm sure of one thing, I will not be dying in a nursing home or hospital. Your final thoughts were really strong and I enjoyed reading all your post about dying and illness. Keep up the great work!

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I found your post very insightful and I agree on your ideas-our society is indeed greedy and its silly how we do not have free health care. Its actually not that difficult because a lot of other countries as you mentioned-have universal free health care. A line in particular I liked was,"Overall America should be more opened minded about how they plan on helping American medical patients in the future." I found this very deep-and I do agree that by being more accepting we can have a better system for the ill and dying.

Sarah

Your post started off very interesting, I was automatically pulled in an connected immediately. I found it interesting how both you and Megumi stated that death is unavoidable and how you just have to live in the moment. I feel like your post really explained everything you gained from this unit and you showed that by explaining how you have to live more in the moment. Great post and continue with the great work!

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Jay

Your post was not like many I've read, you seemed kind of upset which intrigued me. You explained other aspects of the unit which I didn't really think of, such as capitalism and the so called atrocities. This post was very insightful and I hope to read more post like this. Great job.

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Aside from a few grammatical and spelling errors, your post was very interesting. I especially liked this part; "After this unit I am going to take a lot better care of my body because as I get older I don't want to worry about what is going to happen god forbid I need to go to the hospital for something I could have prevented." I congratulate you on making a decision like that. I really hope you follow through and this decision makes your quality of life better.

Hw 32

I find our society to be very selfish, it's scary to think that if I need intense medical attention I may be rejected because one I don't have health care or two if I do have health care it might not cover everything I need. What's so difficult about giving out free health care or plans that benefit the patients not the greedy government? After this unit I am going to take a lot better care of my body because as I get older I don't want to worry about what is going to happen god forbid I need to go to the hospital for something I could have prevented.

After hearing about many student's illness and death projects I found something very peculiar, in other countries (although they might night be as wealthy as us Americans) give if not free a balanced price for medical attention, such as China and Canada. If America did this I believe they might gain more income and many patients will be a lot more satisfied. Also certain statistics could be raised or lowered depending on the statistic. Overall America should be more opened minded about how they plan on helping American medical patients in the future.

HW 31 comment 3

Brandon

Your elevator speech in class made me very interested in your topic. Reading your blog post about visiting the nursing home touched me and I was very impressed by your writing skills. Just like you I used to take visits to a nursing home with my mom when I was younger because I had many elderly family members in them, I totally agree with how you feel towards nursing homes. You should consider sharing your ideas in class more often, great post!

Jessica

Your speech was amazing and really grabbed my attention. The way you got into the topic and really explained certain aspects kind of terrified me but in a good way. Its obvious that you spent a lot of time on this topic and your post and speech show for it. After watching the video on your blog I got a full visual of what you were trying to portray in your speech, great job and I hope to read more of your post.

Hw 30 partner comments

Looking over my comments I noticed many of my commenters said I have to reread over my work and check for grammar mistakes, so i have to continue to take my time and reread at least twice to make sure I catch all of my mistakes.

Jay

I really liked how you talked about technology and hooked it to specific aspects of illness and dying and backed up your ideas. Your post was very engaging and I actually learned something from it. "Technology has helped to increase life expectancy and has helped decrease the threat of death in cancer, heart disease, and stroke patients." I found this sentence to be very powerful, I don't connect things like technology to other aspects of life, and hearing this made me realize technology can have a good affect on us as well.

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Megumi

Your first paragraph pulled me right in, I agree that if an illness doesn't affect someone first hand they tend not to pay to much attention to it. "The seriousness of depression and the statistics for it matters because it shows in the numbers. If depression is treated more often, suicide rates will decrease greatly." I found this statement to be very powerful because if people/ doctors help themselves/patients more often then the outcome would be tremendous and benefit a lot of people. Thank you for giving such great detail with you r research and ideas.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Steph- I enjoyed reading your post, and found it very descriptive. It helped me get a better understanding of what a nursing home is like. I found it ironic that people think its for the best to send ill patients to a nursing home without really putting ourselves in their shoes. I honestly don't even think the nurses care about their patients-they just do their 'job.' A line I liked specifically was, "This experience helped me realize I rather just take care of my parents when they need help instead of sending them to a nursing home, because I feel like its hard for the nurses and doctors to keep track of all the patients." I completely agree with you, and I personally don't like the idea of nursing homes-it makes me question if its really 'homelike. Sarah First sentence was amazing, "As much as we have a choice on the person we want or would like to be our bodies have a mind of their own." This is compeltly true and many of us haven't accepted that yet. The 8 things you listed to prevent Altimezer's are there statistics that prove those 8 things will actually help? I really enjoyed reading your post and it really opened my mind. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Steph - Your post and your experience in the nursing home reminded me a lot of when I went to a nursing home. The description in your opening paragraph immediatly embraces the reader. The line that stood out to me the most was, "In our culture it is very common for families to send there ill family members to a nursing home because it is an easy way out and they don't have to take responsibility for another human being." I agree with you, at a certain point people loose patience and the ability to stay sane, they resort to the "professionals" and loose the constant contact. It would be interesting for you to visit another nursing home and see if they are similar or different. Overall I thought this was very thoughtful and liked the way you described it while presenting to the class!